Stupid & Funny from Around the World
- Thread starter ghazi52
- Start date
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Next time you think you're having a rough day at work, spare a thought for Bob.
Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. His job? Performing underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Sounds cool, right? Well, not always.
One day, Bob sent an email to his sister, Sue, detailing what could only be described as the worst workday ever. She found it so hilarious that she submitted it to a radio station’s “Worst Job Experience” contest. Naturally, she won.
Here’s Bob’s story in his own words:
Hey Sue,
Just another update from your favorite bottom-dwelling brother. I heard you've been feeling down at work, so I figured I’d share my latest misadventure to put things in perspective.
Before I get to the incident, I need to bore you with some technical details. As you know, my “office” is at the bottom of the ocean. I wear a suit to work—a wetsuit. And since the water is bone-chillingly cold, we have a clever way to keep warm.
Enter the industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks up seawater, heats it to a toasty temperature, and pumps it down to us through a hose. Simple, right? It works great—until it doesn’t.
When I start my dive, I take the hose and shove it down the back of my wetsuit, flooding it with warm water. It’s like working in a personal Jacuzzi. Bliss.
Until…
I felt an itch.
Now, an itch underwater is already annoying. But this? This was different. Within seconds, my entire backside was on fire. Naturally, I did what any reasonable person would do—I scratched.
Big mistake.
It turns out, the hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it straight into my wetsuit. And since my back is hairless, the jellyfish had nowhere to stick. Unfortunately, my butt crack provided the perfect landing zone.
So when I scratched? I wasn’t relieving an itch—I was grinding jellyfish tentacles deeper into my ass.
I immediately called my dive supervisor for help. His response? Uncontrollable laughter. In fact, the entire dive team—six grown men—were howling so hard that my pleas for assistance were drowned out by their gasps for air.
After realizing I was on my own, I aborted the dive. But before I could surface, I had to endure thirty-five agonizing minutes of decompression stops. That’s thirty-five minutes of floating in stinging, jellyfish-infused agony while my so-called “team” continued their comedy special at my expense.
When I finally reached the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass diving helmet. The medic—tears of laughter still streaming down his face—wordlessly handed me a tube of cream.
“Rub this on your ass,” was all he managed to say before collapsing into laughter again.
The cream helped, but the swelling? Let’s just say I couldn’t take a crap for two days.
So, next time you think you’re having a bad day, ask yourself:
Is this a jellyfish-up-your-ass bad day?
If the answer is no, count your blessings and carry on.
Life isn’t perfect, but hey—it’s still a gift.
Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. His job? Performing underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Sounds cool, right? Well, not always.
One day, Bob sent an email to his sister, Sue, detailing what could only be described as the worst workday ever. She found it so hilarious that she submitted it to a radio station’s “Worst Job Experience” contest. Naturally, she won.
Here’s Bob’s story in his own words:
Hey Sue,
Just another update from your favorite bottom-dwelling brother. I heard you've been feeling down at work, so I figured I’d share my latest misadventure to put things in perspective.
Before I get to the incident, I need to bore you with some technical details. As you know, my “office” is at the bottom of the ocean. I wear a suit to work—a wetsuit. And since the water is bone-chillingly cold, we have a clever way to keep warm.
Enter the industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks up seawater, heats it to a toasty temperature, and pumps it down to us through a hose. Simple, right? It works great—until it doesn’t.
When I start my dive, I take the hose and shove it down the back of my wetsuit, flooding it with warm water. It’s like working in a personal Jacuzzi. Bliss.
Until…
I felt an itch.
Now, an itch underwater is already annoying. But this? This was different. Within seconds, my entire backside was on fire. Naturally, I did what any reasonable person would do—I scratched.
Big mistake.
It turns out, the hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it straight into my wetsuit. And since my back is hairless, the jellyfish had nowhere to stick. Unfortunately, my butt crack provided the perfect landing zone.
So when I scratched? I wasn’t relieving an itch—I was grinding jellyfish tentacles deeper into my ass.
I immediately called my dive supervisor for help. His response? Uncontrollable laughter. In fact, the entire dive team—six grown men—were howling so hard that my pleas for assistance were drowned out by their gasps for air.
After realizing I was on my own, I aborted the dive. But before I could surface, I had to endure thirty-five agonizing minutes of decompression stops. That’s thirty-five minutes of floating in stinging, jellyfish-infused agony while my so-called “team” continued their comedy special at my expense.
When I finally reached the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass diving helmet. The medic—tears of laughter still streaming down his face—wordlessly handed me a tube of cream.
“Rub this on your ass,” was all he managed to say before collapsing into laughter again.
The cream helped, but the swelling? Let’s just say I couldn’t take a crap for two days.
So, next time you think you’re having a bad day, ask yourself:
Is this a jellyfish-up-your-ass bad day?
If the answer is no, count your blessings and carry on.
Life isn’t perfect, but hey—it’s still a gift.
