Classic Police Encounter
A woman from Winchester was speeding over a bridge when a cop with a radar gun pulled her over.
The cop walked up with that patronizing smirk and asked,
"What’s your hurry?"
She replied,
"I’m late for work."
"Oh yeah? What do you do?" he asked.
"I’m a Rectum Stretcher," she said.
The cop stammered,
"A what?"
"A Rectum Stretcher!"
"And what exactly does that do?"
She explained:
"I start with one finger, then two, then three… then four, then both hands… stretching it slowly until it’s about six feet long."
He asked, baffled:
"And what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?"
She smiled:
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge."