Stupid & Funny from Around the World
- Thread starter ghazi52
- Start date
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl...
After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
"It's simple" billionaire boasts... "I faked my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds "85 years old"
After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
"It's simple" billionaire boasts... "I faked my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds "85 years old"
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
ihussain
Registered Member
Just the heads up, football is Made in Pakistan..
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
A small town lawyer called his first witness to the stand in a trial, a 80 year old woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Singh, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Kulkarni. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Singh, do you know the defense lawyer?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Gupta since he was a youngster too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge called both lawyers to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Kulkarni. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Singh, do you know the defense lawyer?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Gupta since he was a youngster too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge called both lawyers to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Space has Blackholes
Galaxies have Wormholes....and
Earth has …….Assholes...
Galaxies have Wormholes....and
Earth has …….Assholes...
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
A farmer was sitting quietly at a small bar in town, staring into his drink on a bright, sunny afternoon.
A man walked in and asked,
“Beautiful day outside. Why are you in here looking so miserable?”
The farmer sighed.
“Some situations just don’t come with good explanations.”
Curious, the man sat down.
“Alright… what kind of situation?”
The farmer said,
“This morning I was milking my cow. Just as the pail was full, she kicked it over with her left leg.”
The man shrugged.
“That happens.”
“Exactly,” the farmer replied.
“Some things just don’t explain themselves.”
“So what did you do?”
“I tied her left leg to the fence and tried again.”
“And?”
“Right as the pail filled up again, she kicked it over with her right leg.”
The man laughed.
“Let me guess…”
The farmer nodded.
“Some things just don’t explain themselves.”
“So?”
“I tied the right leg too and went back to work.”
“And that fixed it?”
“Not even close. The cow swiped the bucket clean over with her tail.”
The man shook his head.
“Unbelievable.”
The farmer leaned closer and said,
“That’s where the real problem started.”
“What happened?”
“I ran out of rope… so I used my belt.”
The man raised an eyebrow.
The farmer took a long sip and finished,
“My pants hit the floor at the exact moment my wife walked into the barn.”
He paused, then said quietly,
“Some things… just can’t be explained.”
A man walked in and asked,
“Beautiful day outside. Why are you in here looking so miserable?”
The farmer sighed.
“Some situations just don’t come with good explanations.”
Curious, the man sat down.
“Alright… what kind of situation?”
The farmer said,
“This morning I was milking my cow. Just as the pail was full, she kicked it over with her left leg.”
The man shrugged.
“That happens.”
“Exactly,” the farmer replied.
“Some things just don’t explain themselves.”
“So what did you do?”
“I tied her left leg to the fence and tried again.”
“And?”
“Right as the pail filled up again, she kicked it over with her right leg.”
The man laughed.
“Let me guess…”
The farmer nodded.
“Some things just don’t explain themselves.”
“So?”
“I tied the right leg too and went back to work.”
“And that fixed it?”
“Not even close. The cow swiped the bucket clean over with her tail.”
The man shook his head.
“Unbelievable.”
The farmer leaned closer and said,
“That’s where the real problem started.”
“What happened?”
“I ran out of rope… so I used my belt.”
The man raised an eyebrow.
The farmer took a long sip and finished,
“My pants hit the floor at the exact moment my wife walked into the barn.”
He paused, then said quietly,
“Some things… just can’t be explained.”
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
A dad walked past his teenage son’s room and nearly had a heart attack.
The bed was made.
Clothes were actually folded.
There was even a faint smell of… cleanliness.
Then he spotted it — an envelope sitting neatly on the pillow with one word written on it: “Dad.”
His stomach dropped. Hands shaking, he opened it…
Dear Dad,
By the time you read this, I’ll be far away.
I didn’t want to deal with the yelling or the lectures, so I left.
I’ve gone to live with my girlfriend, Raven.
I know you and Mom wouldn’t approve — she’s older, has bright pink hair, about seventeen piercings, owns a pitbull named “Chainsaw,” and rides a motorcycle louder than our vacuum cleaner.
But Dad… we’re in love.
Also… she’s pregnant.
We’re going to raise the baby in her cabin deep in the woods. She says off‑grid living builds character.
She taught me that weed is “basically a vegetable,” and we’re planning to grow a ton of it so we can trade for all kinds of fun stuff with the people at the forest commune.
She’s also hoping the doctors find a cure soon for that weird infection she picked up at the music festival. Please keep us in your prayers.
Don’t worry — I may only be 15, but Raven says I’m very mature for my age. One day we’ll visit so you can meet all your grandkids.
Love,
Your son, Liam
P.S. None of this is real.
I’m just at Jake’s house.
Figured this letter would soften the blow of the report card I left on the counter.
The bed was made.
Clothes were actually folded.
There was even a faint smell of… cleanliness.
Then he spotted it — an envelope sitting neatly on the pillow with one word written on it: “Dad.”
His stomach dropped. Hands shaking, he opened it…
Dear Dad,
By the time you read this, I’ll be far away.
I didn’t want to deal with the yelling or the lectures, so I left.
I’ve gone to live with my girlfriend, Raven.
I know you and Mom wouldn’t approve — she’s older, has bright pink hair, about seventeen piercings, owns a pitbull named “Chainsaw,” and rides a motorcycle louder than our vacuum cleaner.
But Dad… we’re in love.
Also… she’s pregnant.
We’re going to raise the baby in her cabin deep in the woods. She says off‑grid living builds character.
She taught me that weed is “basically a vegetable,” and we’re planning to grow a ton of it so we can trade for all kinds of fun stuff with the people at the forest commune.
She’s also hoping the doctors find a cure soon for that weird infection she picked up at the music festival. Please keep us in your prayers.
Don’t worry — I may only be 15, but Raven says I’m very mature for my age. One day we’ll visit so you can meet all your grandkids.
Love,
Your son, Liam
P.S. None of this is real.
I’m just at Jake’s house.
Figured this letter would soften the blow of the report card I left on the counter.
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