Stupid & Funny from Around the World
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Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
BE CAREFUL AT TRACTOR SUPPLY!!!
I went to Tractor Supply to buy a bag of food for my dog.
Already in line, a woman behind me asked me if I had a dog. I stare at her....(Why would I be buying dog food, right? )So I told her no, I don’t have a dog, that I was starting the dog food diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time, but I lost 15 pounds!
I told her it was the perfect diet and that all you have to do is carry the kibble in your pockets and eat one or two every time you feel hungry (I have to mention that practically everyone in line was interested in my story) .
Then she asks me if I ended up in the hospital because the dog food had poisoned me. I answer, of course not! I was admitted because I bent down to smell the ass of a bulldog and I was hit by a truck.
I thought the man behind her was going to have a heart attack because he was laughing so hard.
I went to Tractor Supply to buy a bag of food for my dog.
Already in line, a woman behind me asked me if I had a dog. I stare at her....(Why would I be buying dog food, right? )So I told her no, I don’t have a dog, that I was starting the dog food diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time, but I lost 15 pounds!
I told her it was the perfect diet and that all you have to do is carry the kibble in your pockets and eat one or two every time you feel hungry (I have to mention that practically everyone in line was interested in my story) .
Then she asks me if I ended up in the hospital because the dog food had poisoned me. I answer, of course not! I was admitted because I bent down to smell the ass of a bulldog and I was hit by a truck.
I thought the man behind her was going to have a heart attack because he was laughing so hard.
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
A Catholic priest runs into his old friend, Reverend Tom.
Tom sighs and says, “You won’t believe it—someone’s nicked my bike! Gone from right outside the church. You’d think even a thief would spare a man of the cloth!”
The priest smiles and says, “Here’s what you do, this Sunday, preach on the Ten Commandments. And when you get to ‘Thou shalt not steal,’ really let them have it, fire and brimstone! Might just scare the culprit into bringing it back.”
The next week, the priest sees Tom happily riding his bike again.
“Well, look at that, you got it back! Did the sermon do the trick?”
Tom grins and says, “Sort of… I was preaching away, got to ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery’… and suddenly remembered exactly where I left it!”
Tom sighs and says, “You won’t believe it—someone’s nicked my bike! Gone from right outside the church. You’d think even a thief would spare a man of the cloth!”
The priest smiles and says, “Here’s what you do, this Sunday, preach on the Ten Commandments. And when you get to ‘Thou shalt not steal,’ really let them have it, fire and brimstone! Might just scare the culprit into bringing it back.”
The next week, the priest sees Tom happily riding his bike again.
“Well, look at that, you got it back! Did the sermon do the trick?”
Tom grins and says, “Sort of… I was preaching away, got to ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery’… and suddenly remembered exactly where I left it!”
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket.
She then went to the checkout and told the cashier,
“Nothing but the best for my little kitten.”
The girl at the register said,
“I’m sorry, but we can’t sell you that cat food without proof that you actually have a cat.”
So the little old lady went home and came back with her cat.
The clerk checked and sold her the food.
The next day, she returned and put the most expensive dog food in her basket.
At the checkout, she smiled and said,
“Nothing but the best for my little puppy.”
The clerk replied,
“I’m sorry, but we need proof you have a dog.”
So the old lady went home, brought back her dog , and bought the food.
The following day, she returned carrying a small box with a hole in the lid.
She asked the clerk to stick her finger inside the hole.
The clerk hesitated… then did it.
She quickly pulled her finger out and said,
“Eww! That smells like poop!”
The old lady smiled sweetly and said,
“Yep… now I’d like to buy three rolls of toilet paper.”
She then went to the checkout and told the cashier,
“Nothing but the best for my little kitten.”
The girl at the register said,
“I’m sorry, but we can’t sell you that cat food without proof that you actually have a cat.”
So the little old lady went home and came back with her cat.
The clerk checked and sold her the food.
The next day, she returned and put the most expensive dog food in her basket.
At the checkout, she smiled and said,
“Nothing but the best for my little puppy.”
The clerk replied,
“I’m sorry, but we need proof you have a dog.”
So the old lady went home, brought back her dog , and bought the food.
The following day, she returned carrying a small box with a hole in the lid.
She asked the clerk to stick her finger inside the hole.
The clerk hesitated… then did it.
She quickly pulled her finger out and said,
“Eww! That smells like poop!”
The old lady smiled sweetly and said,
“Yep… now I’d like to buy three rolls of toilet paper.”
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
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