Stupid & Funny from Around the World

[Davey Crockett]

 

[Davey Crockett]

I had a lovely phone conversation today with a very polite young chap who said he was calling from Microsoft.
“Hello, saar, how are you doing today?”
“I’m very well, thank you for asking. And how are you? More importantly… WHO are you?”
“Saar, my name is Gupta, and I’m calling phrom Microsoft.”
“Microsoft, eh? Is that a city out there somewhere? How’s the weather today — hot, or is it monsoon season? I’ve seen those National Geographic documentaries… that’s some serious rain!”

“No, saar, the weather is bery good. I am calling phrom MICROSOFT — the computer kampany — Mr. Bill Gates’ kampany. We have phound a serious problem with your computer…”
“REALLY? My computer? Well, that’s very worrying…”

“Yes, saar, it could become catastrophic for your piles, your passwords, even your internet banking! But don’t worry — I can fix it for you…”
“No,” I interrupted, “it’s worrying because… I don’t actually HAVE a computer.”
Silence.
“You don’t, saar?”
“I don’t, Gupta. No computer.”
“Ahhh… then it must be your laptop.”
“Gupta.”
“Yes, saarr?”
“I don’t have one.”
“An iPad?”
“Nope.”
“A tablet?”
“Nope. None of those.”
Pause.
“As a matter of fact, Gupta… I don’t even have a telephone.”
A few seconds of tense silence.
Then he says,
“Ah, saar… now you are lying to me!”
I replied,
“Well… you started it!”

And I hung up.

I normally tell scammers to hang on, have to find my hearing aid, put the phone down, and go about my day.

 

[Davey Crockett]

View attachment 197750

Foul Odors: Hyenas secrete a thick, pungent paste known as "hyena butter" from their anal glands, which they use to mark territory. This produces an incredibly strong, foul odor that makes indoor housing impossible.

 

[Davey Crockett]

 

[Davey Crockett]

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

A Nun was praying when the priest approached her


The Priest Lightly Tapped the Nun on the shoulder and asked her to follow him

The Priest Walked Away and The Nun quickly followed not far behind him


They arrived In a Room Behind the Church

The Priest Went inside the room and gestured for the Nun to do the same

“Sister, Close The Door” Said The Priest
“Jesus If Something ever happens please forgive my soul” Prayed The Nun

“Sister Lock it” Said The Priest
“Jesus If Something Ever Happens Please Forgive My Soul” Prayed The Nun

“Sister Close The Window Curtains” Said The Priest
“Jesus If Something ever happens please forgive my soul” Prayed The Nun

“Sister close the lights” The Priest Said
“Jesus If Something Ever Happens Please Forgive My soul”

“Sister come here beside me” The Priest Said
“Jesus Im sorry for what is about to happen please forgive my soul in heaven” prayed the Nun

“Sister Look at My Watch it glows in the dark” đánh giá nội dung

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

A young doctor had moved to a small town to replace a doctor who was retiring.
The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds so that the community would become used to their new doctor.
At the first house a woman complains, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.”
The older doctor says, “Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you’ve been eating and see if that does the trick?”
As they left, the younger man said, “You didn’t even examine that woman, how did you come to your diagnosis so quickly?”
“I didn’t have to examine her. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? Well, when I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the waste bin. I knew that was what probably was making her sick.”
The younger doctor said, “Pretty clever. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll try that at the next house.”
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman.
She just didn’t have the energy she once had and said, “I’m feeling terribly run down lately.”
“You’ve probably been doing too much for the Church,” the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.”
As they left, the elder doctor said, “I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, she’s very active in the church but how did you arrive at it?”
“I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed.”

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

 

[Hakwa Nadro]