Stupid & Funny from Around the World

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A frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and was told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you."
The frog said, "That's great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," said the psychic, "Next term--in her biology class."
 
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An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl said, "Sir, what is that on your shoulder?"
The old farmer said, "That is my pet rooster, Chuckie. Wherever I go, Chuckie goes."
"I'm sorry, Sir," said the ticket girl, "We can't allow animals in the theater. Not even a pet chicken."
The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the chicken down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat down next to two old emergency room nurses named Mildred and Marge.
The movie started and the chicken began to squirm. The old farmer un-zipped his pants so Chuckie could stick his head out and watch the movie.
"Marge," whispered Mildred.
"What?" said Marge.
"I think the guy next to me is a pervert."
"What makes you think so?" asked Marge.
"He unzipped his pants and he has his thing out," whispered Mildred.
"Well, don't worry about it," said Marge, "At our age it isn't anything we haven't seen before."
"Yes," said Mildred, "But this one's eating my popcorn!"
 
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“Nothing looks good on me anymore,” wailed a customer modeling an outfit in front of the department store’s mirror.
“Nonsense, ma’am,” soothed the salesclerk. “That dress says it all.”
“That’s the problem,” the woman replied. “I need a dress that keeps its mouth shut.”
 
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When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the ‘Painless’ dentist. However, a local little girl called Veronica disputed his claim.
“He’s a fake!” Veronica told her friends. “He’s not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth, I bit him, and he screamed like anyone else!”
 
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She was taught , “Housework is a woman’s job.” But one evening Marie arrived home to find the kids all bathed, a load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table was set. She was astonished..!!!
It turned out that Boudreaux had read an article that said,: “Wives who worked full-time and then had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex.”
The night went well...and the next day she had to tell her office friends all about it. “We had a great dinner. Boudreaux even cleaned up the kitchen. He also helped the kids with their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening.”
“But what about afterwards?” asked her friends.
“Oh that...Boudreaux was too tired..!!!”
 
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Boudreaux wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
"Here's your first question, the foreman says. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy." And proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Ain’t you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says Boudreaux.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
Boudreaux stares into space for awhile, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree.
"Dere you go,” he says.
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat's 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Cajun, so he says, "all right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
Boudreaux stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Dere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred."
Boudreaux leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog came along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred.
So, when does I start, cher?"
 
This chutiya kid in Japan getting funded now:

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He's just a disgrace to Japan.
 
Fox news should just STFU already:

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Going out on da Japanese street and picking on lower caste poor foreigners like turds n kurds/ black people/ Indians/ Chinese/ Koreans/ poor white trash is just stupid. He's being funded by the Zio's, pretty obvious.

He can't really do anything to change the laws in Japan cuz Japan is totally Zio controlled, just like the US:

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Goading colluddz is no mean feat. Most are poor economic migrants allowed in by the Jap gubment. Almost impossible to find illegals in Japan.
 

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