Stupid & Funny from Around the World

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https://thetacticalhermit.substack.com/p/try-not-to-crack-a-rib-laughing

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Memphis man arrested after discovering pit bull security system comes standard with free grill​

The Tactical Hermit
May 22, 2026


H/T Wynn





MEMPHIS, TN — A Memphis man learned the hard way this week that not every backyard appliance is part of the city’s unofficial “take what you can carry” rewards program.

Police say 41-year-old Leonard “Lil Riblet” Barksdale allegedly hopped a privacy fence in Southeast Memphis around 2:13 AM after spotting what he reportedly described as:

“a lightly supervised gas grill.”

According to neighbors, Lil Riblet moved through the backyard “with the confidence of a man who’s never once considered consequences.”

That confidence lasted approximately four seconds.

Because waiting in the yard was Memphiszilla…

a pit bull described by witnesses as:

“Built like a refrigerator with childhood trauma.”

Authorities say the dog immediately activated what experts are now calling:

“The Find Out Phase.”

Neighbors reported hearing screaming so intense one woman thought somebody was auditioning for a gospel solo three streets over.

One resident said:

“That man hit notes that could remove wallpaper.”

Police say Lil Riblet attempted multiple escape strategies, including:

• Climbing a trampoline

• Throwing a lawn chair as a peace offering

• Yelling “BAD DOG” in a voice cracking like a middle school clarinet

• And at one point allegedly trying to negotiate:

“Bro please… I don’t even need the grill anymore.”

But Memphiszilla was reportedly unmoved.

Investigators say the suspect eventually climbed onto a patio table and called 911 HIMSELF while the dog circled below like a furry tax collector.

Dispatchers reportedly struggled to understand him because he was simultaneously crying, wheezing, and screaming:

“HE GOT MY SLIDES!”

When officers arrived, they found Lil Riblet apologizing directly to Jesus.

The homeowner later announced Memphiszilla would receive:



Two T-bone steaks



Full neighborhood hero status



Unlimited backyard patrol privileges



And possibly a commemorative plaque near the smoker

Online, Memphis residents immediately renamed the dog:

“The Grill Reaper.”

Moral of the story:

In Memphis, you might steal somebody’s grill…

…but sometimes the grill comes with teeth.

 

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ABC News in Houston reports:

Pole dancing mishap leads to water damage in multiple apartment units

A west Houston woman’s pole dancing ended in disaster after the pole hit a fire sprinkler and flooded her and a neighbor’s apartment.

Asha Gilbert was filming herself in her living room on July 6 as she followed along to a pole dance workout tutorial.

Right as she begins spinning on the pole, the top dislodges from the ceiling and hits a fire sprinkler, causing water to shoot everywhere.

“Immediately, I’m in shock because I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh, this cannot be happening to me,'” said Gilbert.

The pole was a recent addition to Gilbert’s living room. She says a colleague had given it to her just three days prior.

“He was like, ‘Hey, I have this pole, I’m giving it away. Do you want it?’ And I’m like, ‘Yeah, absolutely I want it.,” Gilbert said.

But when she and a friend installed it, they didn’t anchor it to the ceiling. Instead, they relied on the pole’s natural tension between ceiling and floor.

“It wasn’t even a thought that it could possibly hit the sprinkler,” Gilbert said. “We were more worried about it hitting a wall.

American walls melted by touching water