Stupid & Funny from Around the World

A tough old cowboy from south Texas counseled his granddaughyer that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal every morning.
The granddaughter did this religously every day for 103 years, then she died.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren...and a 15 foot hole where the CREMATORIUM used to be.
 
A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."
"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."
"For God's sake, NO!" exclaimed the woman. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward."
 
Beverly is 90 years old. She's played golf every day since her retirement 25 years ago. One day she arrives home looking sad. "That's it," she tells her husband. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I can't see where it went."
The husband makes her a cup of tea, and says, "Why don't you take me with you and give it one more try.?"
"That's no good," sighs Beverly, "Your a hundred and three. You can't help."!
"I may be a hundred and three" says Gus, "but my eyesight is perfect."
So the next day Beverly heads off to the golf course with her husband, Gus. She tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway. She turns to her husband and says, "Did you see the ball?"
"Of course I did!" replied Gus. "I have perfect eyesight".
"Where did it go?" says Beverly.
Gus..."I don't remember".
 
Boudreaux, Thibodeaux, and Pierre went to a party.
After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 stories high.
Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working.
They made a plan for the first 200 stories, Boudreaux will crack jokes.
The second 200 stories, Thibodeaux will tell a happy story and lastly, Pierre will tell a sad story.
They then started up the steps
After 2 hours, it was finally Pierre's turn.
He turned to the other two and said "Ok mes amis, here's my sad story.
I forgot da keys downstairs."
 

Users who are viewing this thread

  • Pakistan Defence Latest

    Back
    Top