Yes, it comes at a cost. But I can now clearly see that the alternative is to be India's $itch and perhaps join some alliance against China. Maybe Haseena's Bangladesh accepted being India's junior partner and there were some gains for Bangladesh. Pakistan can't: Bangladesh owed its birth to India while Pakistan owed its birth because of India!
But a nation's defense is not a trivial thing: Ask those Middle Easter countries who have been destroyed or are at the mercy of Israeli bombings. I believe if Pakistan was a defensively weaker state then India would impose trade, commerce conditions along with water access restrictions. Maybe the pre Modi India wouldn't. But modern India will given the chance. But in all the mess, I don't totally absolve Pakistan's own follies: I think launching Kargil in 1999 was a blunder. I also think the Manmohan-Musharraf rapproachment should have continued after Musharraf's exit and for that I tend to blame Pakistan's internal political chaos.
Anyway, we are where we are . There is no wishing away the other side. As for India's economic march, can't take away from a nation's hard work. But visitors to Pakistan still think Pakistan feels like a cleaner and even better country to visit and so your comparison with North Korea is far fetched. And who knows what can happen if/when there is just 15-20 years of peace and stability in Pakistan?