Stupid & Funny from Around the World
- Thread starter ghazi52
- Start date
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
A Florida highway patrol officer pulled over a man on a Harley for speeding. He approached the biker and said,
“Let’s start with your name.”
“Fred,” the man replied.
“Fred… what?” asked the officer.
“Just Fred.”
The officer, feeling generous, thought he might let this one slide—but decided to have a little fun.
“Come on, buddy. Everyone has a last name. What’s yours?”
Fred sighed. “Well, I used to have one… until I lost it.”
Curious now, the officer leaned in. “Lose it? How exactly do you lose a last name?”
Fred took a deep breath. “Alright, but it’s kind of a long story…
I was born Fred Johnson. Worked hard, went to med school, became a doctor—Fred Johnson, M.D.
Then I got interested in dentistry, went back to school, and became Fred Johnson, M.D., D.D.S.
Unfortunately, I made some poor decisions… messed around with my dental assistant, and caught something. So now I was Fred Johnson, M.D., D.D.S., with a V.D.
The dental board didn’t like that. They took away my D.D.S., so I became Fred Johnson, M.D., with a V.D.
Then the medical board found out and stripped me of my M.D. So now I was just Fred Johnson… with a V.D.
And eventually… the V.D. took away my Johnson.
So that’s how I went from Fred Johnson, M.D., D.D.S., with a V.D. to simply… Just Fred.”
The officer burst out laughing—so hard he couldn’t even finish writing the ticket.
“Let’s start with your name.”
“Fred,” the man replied.
“Fred… what?” asked the officer.
“Just Fred.”
The officer, feeling generous, thought he might let this one slide—but decided to have a little fun.
“Come on, buddy. Everyone has a last name. What’s yours?”
Fred sighed. “Well, I used to have one… until I lost it.”
Curious now, the officer leaned in. “Lose it? How exactly do you lose a last name?”
Fred took a deep breath. “Alright, but it’s kind of a long story…
I was born Fred Johnson. Worked hard, went to med school, became a doctor—Fred Johnson, M.D.
Then I got interested in dentistry, went back to school, and became Fred Johnson, M.D., D.D.S.
Unfortunately, I made some poor decisions… messed around with my dental assistant, and caught something. So now I was Fred Johnson, M.D., D.D.S., with a V.D.
The dental board didn’t like that. They took away my D.D.S., so I became Fred Johnson, M.D., with a V.D.
Then the medical board found out and stripped me of my M.D. So now I was just Fred Johnson… with a V.D.
And eventually… the V.D. took away my Johnson.
So that’s how I went from Fred Johnson, M.D., D.D.S., with a V.D. to simply… Just Fred.”
The officer burst out laughing—so hard he couldn’t even finish writing the ticket.
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. "Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said. "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked. “What’s your Business at this convention?"
“Lecturer." She responded. "I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
“Really?” He said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well.” She explained. “One popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. "I’m Sorry." She said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."
"Tonto." The man said. "Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba." .........
He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. "Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said. "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked. “What’s your Business at this convention?"
“Lecturer." She responded. "I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
“Really?” He said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well.” She explained. “One popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. "I’m Sorry." She said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."
"Tonto." The man said. "Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba." .........
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he's sitting down, he hears the man next to him tell the bartender, "I'll have another waterloo."
The bartender gives the fellow a tall, well-iced drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink. Thinking the other man's drink may be a speciality of the house, he says, "I'll have a Waterloo, too."
The bartender gives him the tall, well-iced drink and the customer takes a big drink. "Hey," he says. "This isn't any good. It tastes just like water!"
The man next to him looks at the bartender and says, "Well, it is water. Right, Lou?"
The bartender gives the fellow a tall, well-iced drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink. Thinking the other man's drink may be a speciality of the house, he says, "I'll have a Waterloo, too."
The bartender gives him the tall, well-iced drink and the customer takes a big drink. "Hey," he says. "This isn't any good. It tastes just like water!"
The man next to him looks at the bartender and says, "Well, it is water. Right, Lou?"
RescueRanger
Meme Lord
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
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