Stupid & Funny from Around the World

[Hakwa Nadro]

Three lady friends die in a motor accident on the way home from Church and go to heaven...

When they arrive at the gate, St. Peter comes out to greet them and says, "Ladies, we only have one rule up here: Whatever you do, don’t step on any of the Lord’s precious ducks!"

They all nod in agreement, the gates of heaven are opened, and they walk in. Sure enough, there are God’s ducks everywhere you look.
They cover almost every inch of the floor, and it’s almost impossible not to step on one. Despite her best efforts, the first woman accidentally steps on one of God’s precious ducks.

Straight after she does so, along comes St. Peter with the pug- ugliest man she’s ever seen, he has a face like the smell of gas!
He chains them together and says to her, "Your punishment for stepping on one of God’s precious ducks is to spend eternity chained to this man!"

The following day, the second woman trips up and accidentally treads on one of God’s precious ducks. Once more, St. Peter arrives, again with another ugly man, this one looked like someone had been chopping wood on his face. St Peter chains them together with the same punishment – stuck with him for eternity.

The third woman, seeing the terrible fate of her two friends, is determined to never step on one of God’s bloody precious ducks. She manages to go a full year without incident. Then on the anniversary of her passing into heaven, St. Peter comes up to her… with the most handsome man she has ever seen. Tall, muscular, gorgeous - Jason Mamoa’s better-looking brother.

Not saying a word to her, St. Peter chains them together and walks off.
Overwhelmed, delighted, and a little giddy, the woman says, “I really don’t know what I did to deserve this!”
The man replies, “I don’t know about you, but I just stepped on one of God’s freakin’ ducks.”

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

A cautionary tale for all home brewers;
I had twenty bottles of very old, very strong homemade wine in my shed. Yesterday I was told by my wife to empty the contents of each bottle down the sink or else. So I said I would, and proceeded with the unpleasant task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the drain with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I did the same to five more bottles.
I then withdrew the cork from the next bottle and poured the wine down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I pulled the cork from the next sink and poured the bottle down the glass which I drank; pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork from the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drank and drinked the pour. When I had every one emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks, and glasses, and sinks with the other, which were Legion, and as the house came by I counted them again and finally had all the houses in one bottle which I drank.
I was not under tho alcofluence of incohol, as some theople pink I was. I was not as thunk as you might drink. I felt so feelish, I didn't know who was me, and the drunker I stood there the longer I got.

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

A drunk who reeked of booze, got on a train and sat facing a vicar.
The drunks tie was stained, his face was covered in lipstick, and a half empty whiskey bottle was hanging from one of his pockets.
He opened a newspaper and started to read it.
After a short while, the man asked the priest, "Tell me father, what causes arthritis?".
The priest replies, "My son, it is caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much liquor, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes, and a lack of bathing".
The drunk looked up in surprise and said, "Well I'll be dammed", and then he carried on reading his newspaper.
The priest reflected for a while on what he had said, and he tapped the drunk on the shoulder, and apologised.
"I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had Arthritis?".
The drunk replied, "I don't have it father, I had just read in the paper that the Pope has it".

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

I personally think this story qualifies for Stupid Oscar
“It’s world economic forum or India economic forum. There are seven Indian chief ministers meeting each other in #Davos. Indian companies are meeting Indian companies. Which they could have easily done in India,” Shukla, a Rajya Sabha member, wrote on X.

“It has become a status symbol or show-off to go to Davos.” The Fadnavis-led Maharashtra government, for instance, signed a memorandum of understanding (MoU) with Lodha Developers Ltd for an estimated investment of Rs 1 lakh crore for an information-technology data centre project in Mumbai with projected employment of 1.5 lakh.

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

 

[Hakwa Nadro]

 

[The SC]

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[ghazi52]

 

[ghazi52]