Stupid & Funny from Around the World
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Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
A family is driving on holiday when a frog crosses the road. The husband, who is driving, manages to stop the car in time. He gets out, picks up the frog, and moves it to the side of the road.
The frog thanks the man and says, "I will grant you one wish."
The man thinks for a moment and says, "Please make my dog win the next dog race."
The frog asks to see the dog. The man opens the car door, and out limps a three-legged, overweight dog that can barely move. The frog looks at the dog and says, "I’m afraid your wish is nearly impossible. Can you make another wish instead?"
The man thinks again and says, "Okay, then please make my wife win the next beauty contest."
The frog asks the man to have his wife step out of the car. She gets out and approaches the frog.
The frog looks at the wife, then turns back to the man and says,
"Could I please take another look at the dog?"
The frog thanks the man and says, "I will grant you one wish."
The man thinks for a moment and says, "Please make my dog win the next dog race."
The frog asks to see the dog. The man opens the car door, and out limps a three-legged, overweight dog that can barely move. The frog looks at the dog and says, "I’m afraid your wish is nearly impossible. Can you make another wish instead?"
The man thinks again and says, "Okay, then please make my wife win the next beauty contest."
The frog asks the man to have his wife step out of the car. She gets out and approaches the frog.
The frog looks at the wife, then turns back to the man and says,
"Could I please take another look at the dog?"
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were taking them a trip to Mexico and wanted to make a little extra money while down there. So They took with them a setup for Bungee Jumping. They bought one of those big, long cords, etc.
When they got to Mexico, they found themselves a real high cliff. Boudreaux tied one end of the cord to Thibodeaux and the other to a big tree. Thibodeaux jumped to test it all out.
When he came back up, Thib had a red mark on his face. Boudreaux asked him if he hit the ground and he said no, but they shortened the cord anyway. They wouldn't want their customers hitting the ground.
Thibodeaux jumped again. When he came back up this time, his face was even more bruised up. Again, he denied ever hitting the ground, but they shortened the cord some more just to be sure.
Thib jumped a third time. When he bounced back up, his face was full of blood. Boudreaux asked him again if he had hit the ground.
Thibodeaux replied, "Mais no Boudreaux, I didn't hit da ground . . . but please tell me what a piñata is!"
When they got to Mexico, they found themselves a real high cliff. Boudreaux tied one end of the cord to Thibodeaux and the other to a big tree. Thibodeaux jumped to test it all out.
When he came back up, Thib had a red mark on his face. Boudreaux asked him if he hit the ground and he said no, but they shortened the cord anyway. They wouldn't want their customers hitting the ground.
Thibodeaux jumped again. When he came back up this time, his face was even more bruised up. Again, he denied ever hitting the ground, but they shortened the cord some more just to be sure.
Thib jumped a third time. When he bounced back up, his face was full of blood. Boudreaux asked him again if he had hit the ground.
Thibodeaux replied, "Mais no Boudreaux, I didn't hit da ground . . . but please tell me what a piñata is!"
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
One day a man is walking down the street when he sees an old man with a nice looking dog.
He goes over to the man and asks: 'does your dog bite?' the old man replies 'No never'.
When the man bends down to stroke the dog, it immediately takes a snap at his hand. The man says 'I thought you said your dog did not bite!
'I did' replies the old man, but this ain't my dog!'
He goes over to the man and asks: 'does your dog bite?' the old man replies 'No never'.
When the man bends down to stroke the dog, it immediately takes a snap at his hand. The man says 'I thought you said your dog did not bite!
'I did' replies the old man, but this ain't my dog!'
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
When I was younger I’d put my arms inside my shirt and tell people I’d lost my arms.
I used to spend the entire evening runnin’ around the yard collecting “lightning bugs” in a jar so I could see in my room after the lights were turned off.
I used to spend all day workin’ on an “ALL- Day” sucker.
I had that one pen with six colors, and tried to push all six buttons at once.
I’d pour my soda into the cap and act like I was takin’ shots in an old west saloon.
I would wait behind a door to scare someone, but would soon leave ‘cause they were takin’ too long…or I had to pee.
I would fake bein’ asleep so my Dad would carry me to bed.
I used to think the moon followed my car.
I would watch those two drops of rain roll down the window and pretend it was a race.
I used to swallow fruit seeds and get scared to death that a tree was gonna grow out of my stomach.
Remember when we were kids and couldn’t wait to grow up?…WHAT were we thinking’..???
I used to spend the entire evening runnin’ around the yard collecting “lightning bugs” in a jar so I could see in my room after the lights were turned off.
I used to spend all day workin’ on an “ALL- Day” sucker.
I had that one pen with six colors, and tried to push all six buttons at once.
I’d pour my soda into the cap and act like I was takin’ shots in an old west saloon.
I would wait behind a door to scare someone, but would soon leave ‘cause they were takin’ too long…or I had to pee.
I would fake bein’ asleep so my Dad would carry me to bed.
I used to think the moon followed my car.
I would watch those two drops of rain roll down the window and pretend it was a race.
I used to swallow fruit seeds and get scared to death that a tree was gonna grow out of my stomach.
Remember when we were kids and couldn’t wait to grow up?…WHAT were we thinking’..???
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.
The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss". The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues, "When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass".
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies,
"Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios".
WHACK!
He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know", he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios"..
The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss". The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues, "When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass".
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies,
"Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios".
WHACK!
He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know", he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios"..
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