Stupid & Funny from Around the World
- Thread starter ghazi52
- Start date
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
One sun-drenched afternoon, a woman from New York City found herself navigating the endless, rugged roads of Arizona’s remote wilderness. The sprawling desert, with its towering red rocks and cacti stretching toward the sky, was breathtaking but isolating. As fate would have it, her car suddenly sputtered, groaned, and gave out entirely, leaving her stranded in the middle of nowhere.
She stood beside her car, glancing nervously at the empty road and the horizon that seemed to stretch forever. Just as she began to worry about how long she’d be stuck there, the rhythmic clopping of hooves broke the silence. An American Indian on horseback appeared, his figure silhouetted against the vast desert landscape.
“Need a ride to town?” he asked in a calm, steady voice.
Relieved and grateful, the woman accepted his offer. She climbed up behind him on the horse, unsure of how to situate herself. Not wanting to fall, she instinctively wrapped her arms around his waist and held onto the saddle horn for balance.
The ride was mostly uneventful, save for one peculiar thing: every few minutes, the Indian would let out a loud, exuberant “Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!” His enthusiastic whoops echoed off the hills and canyon walls, reverberating through the vast emptiness. The woman was puzzled but didn’t question it, chalking it up to a local custom or an expression of joy.
Eventually, they reached the small, dusty town. The Indian stopped in front of the local service station and helped her down from the horse. With one final, thunderous “Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!” that turned every head in the vicinity, he rode off into the distance, leaving the woman slightly bewildered.
As she stepped into the service station, the attendant behind the counter gave her a curious look. “What on earth did you do to get that Indian so excited?” he asked with a grin.
The woman frowned, confused. “Nothing! I just sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn’t fall off.”
The attendant burst out laughing, nearly doubling over. “Lady,” he managed between chuckles, “Indians don’t use saddles!”
She stood beside her car, glancing nervously at the empty road and the horizon that seemed to stretch forever. Just as she began to worry about how long she’d be stuck there, the rhythmic clopping of hooves broke the silence. An American Indian on horseback appeared, his figure silhouetted against the vast desert landscape.
“Need a ride to town?” he asked in a calm, steady voice.
Relieved and grateful, the woman accepted his offer. She climbed up behind him on the horse, unsure of how to situate herself. Not wanting to fall, she instinctively wrapped her arms around his waist and held onto the saddle horn for balance.
The ride was mostly uneventful, save for one peculiar thing: every few minutes, the Indian would let out a loud, exuberant “Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!” His enthusiastic whoops echoed off the hills and canyon walls, reverberating through the vast emptiness. The woman was puzzled but didn’t question it, chalking it up to a local custom or an expression of joy.
Eventually, they reached the small, dusty town. The Indian stopped in front of the local service station and helped her down from the horse. With one final, thunderous “Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!” that turned every head in the vicinity, he rode off into the distance, leaving the woman slightly bewildered.
As she stepped into the service station, the attendant behind the counter gave her a curious look. “What on earth did you do to get that Indian so excited?” he asked with a grin.
The woman frowned, confused. “Nothing! I just sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn’t fall off.”
The attendant burst out laughing, nearly doubling over. “Lady,” he managed between chuckles, “Indians don’t use saddles!”
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Farmer Brown believed his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company to court. But the company’s slick, high-priced lawyer was ready to tear his case apart.
“Mr. Brown,” the lawyer said, straightening his designer tie, “is it true that at the scene of the accident, you told the responding officer, ‘I’m fine’?”
Farmer Brown scratched his head. “Well now, I was just about to load my favorite mule, Bessie, into—”
“I don’t need a story,” the lawyer interrupted sharply. “Just answer yes or no—did you or did you not say, ‘I’m fine’?”
Brown frowned. “Well, like I was saying, I was loading up Bessie, and we were headed down the—”
“Objection, Your Honor!” the lawyer huffed. “The witness is being evasive.”
But the judge, now curious, leaned forward. “Actually, I’d like to hear what he has to say about Bessie.”
Farmer Brown smiled. “Thank ya, Judge. Now, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie into my trailer, and we were driving along when this big ol’ semi blew right through a stop sign and smashed into us. BOOM! My truck flipped, I flew one way, and poor Bessie went the other.”
He shook his head. “I was hurt bad—couldn’t even move—but I could hear Bessie moanin’ something awful. Next thing I know, a highway patrolman shows up. He walks over to Bessie, listens to her groanin’, shakes his head, pulls out his gun, and BANG! Puts her down right then and there.”
The courtroom gasped.
Farmer Brown continued, “Then, the patrolman walks over to me, still holding his gun, and says, ‘Your mule was in bad shape, so I had to put her down. Now… how are YOU feeling?’”
The jury erupted in laughter. The lawyer slumped in his seat, defeated. And Farmer Brown? Well, he walked out of that courtroom with a fat settlement—and a brand-new mule named Lucky.
“Mr. Brown,” the lawyer said, straightening his designer tie, “is it true that at the scene of the accident, you told the responding officer, ‘I’m fine’?”
Farmer Brown scratched his head. “Well now, I was just about to load my favorite mule, Bessie, into—”
“I don’t need a story,” the lawyer interrupted sharply. “Just answer yes or no—did you or did you not say, ‘I’m fine’?”
Brown frowned. “Well, like I was saying, I was loading up Bessie, and we were headed down the—”
“Objection, Your Honor!” the lawyer huffed. “The witness is being evasive.”
But the judge, now curious, leaned forward. “Actually, I’d like to hear what he has to say about Bessie.”
Farmer Brown smiled. “Thank ya, Judge. Now, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie into my trailer, and we were driving along when this big ol’ semi blew right through a stop sign and smashed into us. BOOM! My truck flipped, I flew one way, and poor Bessie went the other.”
He shook his head. “I was hurt bad—couldn’t even move—but I could hear Bessie moanin’ something awful. Next thing I know, a highway patrolman shows up. He walks over to Bessie, listens to her groanin’, shakes his head, pulls out his gun, and BANG! Puts her down right then and there.”
The courtroom gasped.
Farmer Brown continued, “Then, the patrolman walks over to me, still holding his gun, and says, ‘Your mule was in bad shape, so I had to put her down. Now… how are YOU feeling?’”
The jury erupted in laughter. The lawyer slumped in his seat, defeated. And Farmer Brown? Well, he walked out of that courtroom with a fat settlement—and a brand-new mule named Lucky.
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
A Male mosquito to its wife: Darling I will hunt a Lion for you.
Female mosquito: Ok fine, now go to sleep.
Male mosquito: I will bite an elephant and bring his blood for you.
Female mosquito: Sure love, go to sleep.
Male mosquito: I will drive you around Paris in a Mercedes.
Female mosquito: Hmmmmmm... ok, go to sleep...
Male mosquito: You don't trust me? I will get you a 100 gms Gold chain....
Female mosquito: You idiot go to sleep...
Male mosquito: Honey I'll do anything for you.
Female mosquito: You silly @#$#@$.. how many times have I told you not to come home after biting a politician.
Female mosquito: Ok fine, now go to sleep.
Male mosquito: I will bite an elephant and bring his blood for you.
Female mosquito: Sure love, go to sleep.
Male mosquito: I will drive you around Paris in a Mercedes.
Female mosquito: Hmmmmmm... ok, go to sleep...
Male mosquito: You don't trust me? I will get you a 100 gms Gold chain....
Female mosquito: You idiot go to sleep...
Male mosquito: Honey I'll do anything for you.
Female mosquito: You silly @#$#@$.. how many times have I told you not to come home after biting a politician.
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
The longtime wine taster at an old vineyard had passed away, and the manager was searching for a replacement.
One day, a scruffy, ragged homeless man wandered in and confidently declared, “I have the perfect palate for the job.”
Amused, the manager decided to humor him and poured a glass of wine.
The man swirled, sniffed, took a sip, then spat it out. “Red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope, aged in oak barrels.”
The manager raised an eyebrow. “Not bad.”
He handed him another glass. The man tasted, nodded, and said, “Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
Now thoroughly intrigued, the manager exchanged a look with his secretary. With a smirk, she returned with a mystery glass.
The man took a sip, paused, then glanced between them. Finally, he announced, “Blonde, 27 years old, three months pregnant… and if I don’t get this job, I’ll tell you who the father is.”
One day, a scruffy, ragged homeless man wandered in and confidently declared, “I have the perfect palate for the job.”
Amused, the manager decided to humor him and poured a glass of wine.
The man swirled, sniffed, took a sip, then spat it out. “Red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope, aged in oak barrels.”
The manager raised an eyebrow. “Not bad.”
He handed him another glass. The man tasted, nodded, and said, “Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
Now thoroughly intrigued, the manager exchanged a look with his secretary. With a smirk, she returned with a mystery glass.
The man took a sip, paused, then glanced between them. Finally, he announced, “Blonde, 27 years old, three months pregnant… and if I don’t get this job, I’ll tell you who the father is.”
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Lost, But Not Forgotten
As a singer, I’ve performed at countless funerals, but this one was different. A funeral director called me and asked if I could sing at a graveside service for a homeless man. No family, no friends—just a quiet farewell at a pauper’s cemetery near Lindale.
I agreed, of course.
The problem? I’m horrifically directionally challenged. My GPS gave up on me, and my phone signal disappeared into the void. I hate Sprint.
After driving in confused circles and probably waving at the same gas station twice, I finally arrived—an hour late. The funeral director was long gone. The hearse? Gone. The only ones left were the gravediggers, sitting on the ground, casually eating their lunch.
I felt awful.
Breathless and flustered, I apologized profusely. They just stared at me, sandwiches halfway to their mouths. I turned to the grave, where the vault lid was already in place.
There was no service. No mourners. No words spoken over this man’s final resting place.
So, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I sang.
I sang my heart and soul out for a man I never knew.
The workers stopped eating. One by one, they stood up. They gathered around, eyes wide, hands clasped. As the words of Amazing Grace filled the air, something shifted.
The spirit moved.
They wept.
I wept.
We all stood there, strangers bound together in a moment of unexpected grace, mourning the loss of someone none of us had ever met.
When I finished, I wiped my tears, whispered a quiet prayer, and walked back to my car, heart heavy but full.
Just as I opened the door, I heard one of the workers mutter,
"I’ve never seen nothin’ like that before… and I’ve been puttin’ in septic tanks for twenty years."
…Turns out, I was still lost.
As a singer, I’ve performed at countless funerals, but this one was different. A funeral director called me and asked if I could sing at a graveside service for a homeless man. No family, no friends—just a quiet farewell at a pauper’s cemetery near Lindale.
I agreed, of course.
The problem? I’m horrifically directionally challenged. My GPS gave up on me, and my phone signal disappeared into the void. I hate Sprint.
After driving in confused circles and probably waving at the same gas station twice, I finally arrived—an hour late. The funeral director was long gone. The hearse? Gone. The only ones left were the gravediggers, sitting on the ground, casually eating their lunch.
I felt awful.
Breathless and flustered, I apologized profusely. They just stared at me, sandwiches halfway to their mouths. I turned to the grave, where the vault lid was already in place.
There was no service. No mourners. No words spoken over this man’s final resting place.
So, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I sang.
I sang my heart and soul out for a man I never knew.
The workers stopped eating. One by one, they stood up. They gathered around, eyes wide, hands clasped. As the words of Amazing Grace filled the air, something shifted.
The spirit moved.
They wept.
I wept.
We all stood there, strangers bound together in a moment of unexpected grace, mourning the loss of someone none of us had ever met.
When I finished, I wiped my tears, whispered a quiet prayer, and walked back to my car, heart heavy but full.
Just as I opened the door, I heard one of the workers mutter,
"I’ve never seen nothin’ like that before… and I’ve been puttin’ in septic tanks for twenty years."
…Turns out, I was still lost.
Users who are viewing this thread
Pakistan Defence Latest
Country Watch Latest
-
-
TF-X / KAAN / Hürjet Turkish Fighter & Trainer Aircrafts News & Discussions (14 Viewers)
- Latest: hyperman
-
-
-
Latest Posts
-
-
-
-
UK mosques attacked once every five days in last year, amid rising Islamophobia (12 Viewers)- Latest: El Sidd
-
TF-X / KAAN / Hürjet Turkish Fighter & Trainer Aircrafts News & Discussions (14 Viewers)
- Latest: hyperman