Stupid & Funny from Around the World
- Thread starter ghazi52
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RescueRanger
Meme Lord
RescueRanger
Meme Lord
This gas station attendant is so talented 
Please follow his tiktok
Please follow his tiktok
RescueRanger
Meme Lord
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
In the days of the wild west, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the fastest gunfighter in the west.
He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn’t yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.
Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man seated at the bar who had the reputation of being a fast gun in his day.
The young gunslinger took a seat next to the old-timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great ambition.
He asked the old gunslinger,
“Do you think you could give me some tips to improve my speed?”
The old man, sipped his drink, looked him up and down, and said,
“Well, how fast are you then kid?”
The young man drew his pistol pretty quick and before anyone knew it, he shoots the hat off of the piano player’s head!
The old man looks over at the piano player and says to the young man,
“Well, that wasn’t bad son, but you’re wearing your gun too high."
"You should have your holster lower on your leg, so you can get to your gun quicker when you draw."
"And son, tie the holster down on your leg.”
The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his Colt Peacemaker and shot the tie off the piano player.
Surprised at the difference now, the young guy said,
“That’s terrific!”
“Have you got any more tips for me?”
After thinking for a moment, the old man said,
“Yup, cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it."
"That’ll give you a smoother draw.”
The young guy asked,
“Will that make me even faster then?"
The old cowboy said,
“You bet it will kid.”
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch in his holster, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, then shot a cuff link off the piano player.
Impressed by the improvements so far, the young gunslinger said,
"Well, I’m, sure as hell, learnin’ somethin’ here."
"Got any more tips for me old man?”
The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon.
“See that can of axle grease over there?"
"Go over and coat your gun with it."
"Just put the gun in it, then layer it with grease!“
The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.
The old cowboy shook his head and said,
“No, I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.”
Surprised, the young guy did as suggested, walked back and said,
“Will that make me a faster gunfighter?”
The old cowboy smiled, shook his head, and said,
“Probably not kid, but when Doc Holliday gets done playing that song on the piano, that grease will make it hurt less when he shoves that gun up your ass!”
He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn’t yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.
Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man seated at the bar who had the reputation of being a fast gun in his day.
The young gunslinger took a seat next to the old-timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great ambition.
He asked the old gunslinger,
“Do you think you could give me some tips to improve my speed?”
The old man, sipped his drink, looked him up and down, and said,
“Well, how fast are you then kid?”
The young man drew his pistol pretty quick and before anyone knew it, he shoots the hat off of the piano player’s head!
The old man looks over at the piano player and says to the young man,
“Well, that wasn’t bad son, but you’re wearing your gun too high."
"You should have your holster lower on your leg, so you can get to your gun quicker when you draw."
"And son, tie the holster down on your leg.”
The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his Colt Peacemaker and shot the tie off the piano player.
Surprised at the difference now, the young guy said,
“That’s terrific!”
“Have you got any more tips for me?”
After thinking for a moment, the old man said,
“Yup, cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it."
"That’ll give you a smoother draw.”
The young guy asked,
“Will that make me even faster then?"
The old cowboy said,
“You bet it will kid.”
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch in his holster, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, then shot a cuff link off the piano player.
Impressed by the improvements so far, the young gunslinger said,
"Well, I’m, sure as hell, learnin’ somethin’ here."
"Got any more tips for me old man?”
The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon.
“See that can of axle grease over there?"
"Go over and coat your gun with it."
"Just put the gun in it, then layer it with grease!“
The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.
The old cowboy shook his head and said,
“No, I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.”
Surprised, the young guy did as suggested, walked back and said,
“Will that make me a faster gunfighter?”
The old cowboy smiled, shook his head, and said,
“Probably not kid, but when Doc Holliday gets done playing that song on the piano, that grease will make it hurt less when he shoves that gun up your ass!”
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Any resident doctor can vouch for this:
I have attended CPR classes over the years, but was never told this particular scenario. I was told that when your body starts sweating profusely for no apparent reason followed by what feels like a spasm at the end of your esophagus, that is your body’s warning sign.
When you are alone and have a heart attack, what are you gonna do? A really good post that can't be shared often enough:
1. Take a 2 minute break and read this:
Let's say it's 5:25 pm and you're driving home after an unusually hard day's work.
2. You are really tired and frustrated.
All of a sudden your experience chest pains. They are starting to radiate in the arm and jaw. It feels like being stabbed in the chest and heart. You're only a few miles away from the nearest hospital or home.
3. Unfortunately you don't know if you can make it..
4. Maybe you've taken CPR training, but the person running the course hasn't told you how to help yourself.
5. How do you survive a heart attack when you're alone when it happens? A person who is feeling weak and whose heart is beating hard has only about 10 seconds before losing consciousness.
6. But you can help yourself by coughing repeatedly and very strongly! Deep breaths before every cough. Coughing should be repeated every second until you arrive at the hospital or until your heart starts to beat normally.
7. Deep breathing gives oxygen to your lungs and coughing movements boost the heart and blood circulation. Heart pressure also helps to restore a normal heartbeat. That’s how cardiac arrest victims can make it to the hospital for the right treatment.
8. Cardiologists say if someone gets this message and passes it on to 10 people, we can expect to save at least one life.
9. FOR WOMEN: You should know that women have additional and different symptoms. Rarely have crushing chest pain or pain in the arms. Often have indigestion and tightness across the back at the bra line plus sudden fatigue.
Instead of posting jokes, you're helping save lives by spreading this message.
I have attended CPR classes over the years, but was never told this particular scenario. I was told that when your body starts sweating profusely for no apparent reason followed by what feels like a spasm at the end of your esophagus, that is your body’s warning sign.
When you are alone and have a heart attack, what are you gonna do? A really good post that can't be shared often enough:
1. Take a 2 minute break and read this:
Let's say it's 5:25 pm and you're driving home after an unusually hard day's work.
2. You are really tired and frustrated.
All of a sudden your experience chest pains. They are starting to radiate in the arm and jaw. It feels like being stabbed in the chest and heart. You're only a few miles away from the nearest hospital or home.
3. Unfortunately you don't know if you can make it..
4. Maybe you've taken CPR training, but the person running the course hasn't told you how to help yourself.
5. How do you survive a heart attack when you're alone when it happens? A person who is feeling weak and whose heart is beating hard has only about 10 seconds before losing consciousness.
6. But you can help yourself by coughing repeatedly and very strongly! Deep breaths before every cough. Coughing should be repeated every second until you arrive at the hospital or until your heart starts to beat normally.
7. Deep breathing gives oxygen to your lungs and coughing movements boost the heart and blood circulation. Heart pressure also helps to restore a normal heartbeat. That’s how cardiac arrest victims can make it to the hospital for the right treatment.
8. Cardiologists say if someone gets this message and passes it on to 10 people, we can expect to save at least one life.
9. FOR WOMEN: You should know that women have additional and different symptoms. Rarely have crushing chest pain or pain in the arms. Often have indigestion and tightness across the back at the bra line plus sudden fatigue.
Instead of posting jokes, you're helping save lives by spreading this message.
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
There was an old man who always rode his bike to his brother’s house every weekend. It took him 2 hours and he alway’s made it by there by 2PM. One day he tried to make it in 1 hour. Collapsing on a hill from exhaustion, while sitting there, a Corvette pulls up and asks him if he needs a ride. The man looks at his watch and sees he would be late if not, but there is already a passenger, so he asks how? "No problem," says the man in the corvette, "I’ve got a rope in the back and we’ll tie your bike to the back bumper and you can ride." The man says, "Ok!" They take off and the driver yells back, "Just yell beep beep if I’m going to fast." No problem the man thinks. They come to an Intersection and a Ferrari pulls up, the man’s eye’s widen in fright. Sure enough, the light changes and they're off! Anyway, the guy made it to his brothers on time and the Vette lost. Meanwhile, at the local police dept: "Hey guys the weirdest thing just happened to me. A Ferrari and a Vette just lost me at over 120 mph on Main Street." "What’s so weird about that?" asks the other cops. The first cop says, "There was this old guy on a bike behind them screaming beep beep and trying to pass!"
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Laugh for today:
The Proper way to call someone a Bastard:
A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him.
The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.
They were even after the first few holes.
The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?"
The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.
The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.
As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00.
He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.
The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.
The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.
The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."
The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation.
...And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them."
The Proper way to call someone a Bastard:
A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him.
The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.
They were even after the first few holes.
The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?"
The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.
The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.
As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00.
He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.
The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.
The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.
The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."
The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation.
...And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them."
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