Stupid & Funny from Around the World

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He doesn't realise, she's taking the piss......

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What a LEGEND!

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An elderly American couple was visiting Spain to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.
After a long day of sightseeing, they stopped at a charming little restaurant in Madrid.
As the husband sipped his sangria, he noticed a sizzling platter being served to the table next to them. It looked absolutely delicious, and the aroma was irresistible.
He waved the waiter over and asked, “Excuse me, what is that wonderful dish?”
The waiter smiled and replied, “Ah, señor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull’s testicles from this morning’s bullfight. A true Spanish delicacy.”
The wife nearly choked on her sangria.
The husband hesitated for a moment, then grinned and said, “Well, we’re on vacation. Let’s try it!”
The waiter apologized. “I’m very sorry, señor, but there is only one serving each day because there is only one bullfight every morning. If you come back tomorrow and order early, I’ll be sure to save it for you.”
The next morning, the husband returned to the restaurant and placed his order.
That evening, the special dish was served to the couple.
After a few bites, the husband looked puzzled. He called the waiter over and said, “These are delicious, but they’re much smaller than the ones we saw yesterday.”
The waiter gave a polite shrug and said:
“Sí, señor... sometimes the bull wins.”
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Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But Mom, I was sitting on Daddy’s lap!
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A man looked at the menu at the airport restaurant and saw that the sandwiches were named for planes.
“I’ll have a ‘jumbo jet’,” he said.
When the order arrived, he was disappointed to see how small his burger was, but he ate it anyway.
He called his waiter over. “Was that the ‘jumbo jet’?” he asked.
“Yeah,” the waiter answered. “Went pretty fast, didn’t it?”
 

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