Stupid & Funny from Around the World

It Snowed Last Night...
8:00 pm - I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
Moral:
There is no moral to this story - this is what we've become, all because of snowflakes
Stay Safe Guys Be Seeing You
☺️
👌
 
The Soap Dispenser
Late one night, two priests were heading to the showers. Just as the hot water started to steam, Father John groaned, “Blast it, no soap.”
“I’ve got some in my room,” he said, and off he went—completely naked—grabbing two bars of soap, one in each hand.
Halfway back, disaster struck: three nuns appeared at the end of the hall. With nowhere to run, Father John did the only thing he could—he froze against the wall, stiff as a statue.
The nuns stopped in awe. “My, how lifelike,” whispered the first. Then, with curiosity sparking, she reached out and gave his manhood a tug. Plop! A bar of soap hit the floor.
“Oh! It’s a soap dispenser!” she exclaimed.
Intrigued, the second nun gave it a pull. Plop! The second bar dropped.
Now the third nun, not to be outdone, stepped forward. She tugged once… nothing. Twice… still nothing. Three, four, five times—nothing!
Finally, exasperated, she gave it a furious shake and shouted,
“Holy Mary, Mother of God—it gives out lotion too!”
 
An atheist sat down next to an old cowboy on a plane. After takeoff, the atheist turned to him and said, “Want to talk? The flight feels shorter if you chat with the person next to you.” The cowboy had just opened his book. He looked up and said, “What do you want to talk about?” The atheist shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe why there is no God, no Heaven or Hell, and no life after death.” He gave a small confident smile. The cowboy nodded. “Those are big topics. I’m fine to talk about them, but let me ask you something first.” This story was missing text can you fix He continued, “A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same thing. Grass. But a deer drops little pellets. A cow drops flat patties. A horse drops big clumps. Why do you think that happens?” The atheist frowned and thought for a moment. “I have no idea.” The cowboy smiled and said, “So you don’t know crap about something this simple, and you feel ready to talk about God, Heaven, Hell, and life after death?
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