Baibers_1260
Trusted Member
Guess they should build them taller.
Stupid & Funny from Around the World
- Thread starter ghazi52
- Start date
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Muji.Iqbal
Trusted Member
bikini girls
She is a Western girl
vs Hijab
That she is an Eastern/Asian girl
She is a Western girl
vs Hijab
That she is an Eastern/Asian girl
Last edited:
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Miss Beatrice and the “Miracle Cure”
Miss Beatrice was the sweetest soul in the parish. Well into her eighties, she had never married, never stirred up gossip, and was admired by everyone for her kindness. She played the church organ every Sunday with such devotion that the congregation swore angels leaned in to listen.
One afternoon, the young pastor dropped by for a visit. Miss Beatrice welcomed him warmly, ushered him into her cozy little sitting room, and went off to make tea and scones.
As the pastor settled in, his eyes wandered to her beloved old pump organ. On top of it sat a cut-glass bowl filled with water. Floating in the middle was… something that made him blink twice.
A condom.
He coughed, rubbed his eyes, and looked again. Yep. No mistake. A condom bobbing about like a goldfish.
By the time Miss Beatrice returned with a tray of steaming tea and warm scones, the pastor’s face was red from trying to hide his curiosity. They chatted politely for a few minutes, but eventually he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Miss Beatrice,” he said gently, pointing toward the organ, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but… about that bowl…?”
Her face lit up with delight. “Oh, yes! Isn’t it marvelous?”
The pastor nearly choked on his tea.
Miss Beatrice leaned in conspiratorially. “You see, I was walking through the park last summer when I found a little packet on the ground. The directions were quite clear: ‘Place it on the organ, keep it wet, and it will prevent the spread of disease.’”
She beamed proudly. “And do you know, Pastor—I haven’t had the flu all winter!”
Miss Beatrice was the sweetest soul in the parish. Well into her eighties, she had never married, never stirred up gossip, and was admired by everyone for her kindness. She played the church organ every Sunday with such devotion that the congregation swore angels leaned in to listen.
One afternoon, the young pastor dropped by for a visit. Miss Beatrice welcomed him warmly, ushered him into her cozy little sitting room, and went off to make tea and scones.
As the pastor settled in, his eyes wandered to her beloved old pump organ. On top of it sat a cut-glass bowl filled with water. Floating in the middle was… something that made him blink twice.
A condom.
He coughed, rubbed his eyes, and looked again. Yep. No mistake. A condom bobbing about like a goldfish.
By the time Miss Beatrice returned with a tray of steaming tea and warm scones, the pastor’s face was red from trying to hide his curiosity. They chatted politely for a few minutes, but eventually he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Miss Beatrice,” he said gently, pointing toward the organ, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but… about that bowl…?”
Her face lit up with delight. “Oh, yes! Isn’t it marvelous?”
The pastor nearly choked on his tea.
Miss Beatrice leaned in conspiratorially. “You see, I was walking through the park last summer when I found a little packet on the ground. The directions were quite clear: ‘Place it on the organ, keep it wet, and it will prevent the spread of disease.’”
She beamed proudly. “And do you know, Pastor—I haven’t had the flu all winter!”
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Wife Went Shopping!
The men’s changing room at the golf club was buzzing with the usual chatter—bad swings, lucky putts, and who owed who a drink. Suddenly, a mobile phone on the bench started ringing.
One of the guys picked it up, pressed the speakerphone button, and said casually,
MAN: “Hello.”
The entire room went silent.
WOMAN: “Darling, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes.”
WOMAN: “I’m at the shopping center and just found this gorgeous leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Do you mind if I buy it?”
MAN: (without hesitation) “Sure, if you love it, go ahead.”
The other golfers raised their eyebrows.
WOMAN: “Oh, and I stopped by the Mercedes dealership. They have the new 2013 models in. There’s one I really like.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “Only $95,000.”
MAN: “All right. But for that price, I want it with all the options.”
By now, the room was dead quiet. A few jaws were hanging open.
WOMAN: “Perfect! And one last thing… Remember that house I wanted last year? It’s back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”
MAN: “Offer them $900,000. If they don’t budge, we’ll take it for $950,000. It’s still a good deal.”
WOMAN: “You’re the best! I’ll see you later. Love you!”
MAN: “Love you, too.”
He hung up.
The locker room erupted into stunned silence. Every man stared at him like he had just bought half the city. Finally, with the smuggest grin, he looked around and asked:
“So… anyone know whose phone this is?”
The men’s changing room at the golf club was buzzing with the usual chatter—bad swings, lucky putts, and who owed who a drink. Suddenly, a mobile phone on the bench started ringing.
One of the guys picked it up, pressed the speakerphone button, and said casually,
MAN: “Hello.”
The entire room went silent.
WOMAN: “Darling, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes.”
WOMAN: “I’m at the shopping center and just found this gorgeous leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Do you mind if I buy it?”
MAN: (without hesitation) “Sure, if you love it, go ahead.”
The other golfers raised their eyebrows.
WOMAN: “Oh, and I stopped by the Mercedes dealership. They have the new 2013 models in. There’s one I really like.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “Only $95,000.”
MAN: “All right. But for that price, I want it with all the options.”
By now, the room was dead quiet. A few jaws were hanging open.
WOMAN: “Perfect! And one last thing… Remember that house I wanted last year? It’s back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”
MAN: “Offer them $900,000. If they don’t budge, we’ll take it for $950,000. It’s still a good deal.”
WOMAN: “You’re the best! I’ll see you later. Love you!”
MAN: “Love you, too.”
He hung up.
The locker room erupted into stunned silence. Every man stared at him like he had just bought half the city. Finally, with the smuggest grin, he looked around and asked:
“So… anyone know whose phone this is?”
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
An elderly couple, Frank and Kris, had been together so long that they shared everything—even their curiosity about the afterlife.
One evening, over tea, Kris said,
“Frank, let’s make a pact. Whoever dies first must come back and tell the other if there’s sex after death.”
Frank grinned. “Deal. But let’s hope it’s me—I’d hate to wait too long for an answer.”
Years later, Frank passed away first.
One night, not long after, Kris was lying in bed when she suddenly heard a faint whisper:
“Kris… Kris, it’s me.”
Her eyes widened. “Frank? Is that really you?”
“Yes,” came the voice. “I kept my promise.”
Kris sat up eagerly. “So? Tell me everything! What’s it like? Is there sex after death?”
Frank chuckled. “Oh, Kris, it’s incredible. I wake up every morning and—boom—sex. Then I eat breakfast, hit the golf course, have more sex, soak up the sun, have sex again, grab some greens for lunch—yes, I’m eating healthy—and then it’s back to more sex. After dinner, golf again, then sex all night until I pass out. Then I wake up the next day, and the whole thing starts all over.”
Kris gasped, her eyes sparkling. “Oh Frank! That sounds like Heaven!”
There was a pause. Then Frank said dryly,
“Heaven? No, Kris. I got reincarnated as a cow in India.”
One evening, over tea, Kris said,
“Frank, let’s make a pact. Whoever dies first must come back and tell the other if there’s sex after death.”
Frank grinned. “Deal. But let’s hope it’s me—I’d hate to wait too long for an answer.”
Years later, Frank passed away first.
One night, not long after, Kris was lying in bed when she suddenly heard a faint whisper:
“Kris… Kris, it’s me.”
Her eyes widened. “Frank? Is that really you?”
“Yes,” came the voice. “I kept my promise.”
Kris sat up eagerly. “So? Tell me everything! What’s it like? Is there sex after death?”
Frank chuckled. “Oh, Kris, it’s incredible. I wake up every morning and—boom—sex. Then I eat breakfast, hit the golf course, have more sex, soak up the sun, have sex again, grab some greens for lunch—yes, I’m eating healthy—and then it’s back to more sex. After dinner, golf again, then sex all night until I pass out. Then I wake up the next day, and the whole thing starts all over.”
Kris gasped, her eyes sparkling. “Oh Frank! That sounds like Heaven!”
There was a pause. Then Frank said dryly,
“Heaven? No, Kris. I got reincarnated as a cow in India.”
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
Betty’s Driving Test Disaster
Betty had already failed her driving test four times. On her fifth attempt, she marched in determined to finally pass.
Everything was going smoothly—until she hit that dreaded question again:
“You’re driving at 120 mph. On your right is a solid wall. On your left is a steep cliff. In the middle of the road are an old man and a young man. What do you hit?”
Betty threw her hands up. “I’ve tried every answer! The wall, the cliff, the old man, the young man. I’ve failed every time. So tell me—what am I supposed to hit?!”
The examiner leaned back, looked her dead in the eye, and said:
“The brakes, Betty. You’re supposed to hit the brakes.”
Betty had already failed her driving test four times. On her fifth attempt, she marched in determined to finally pass.
Everything was going smoothly—until she hit that dreaded question again:
“You’re driving at 120 mph. On your right is a solid wall. On your left is a steep cliff. In the middle of the road are an old man and a young man. What do you hit?”
Betty threw her hands up. “I’ve tried every answer! The wall, the cliff, the old man, the young man. I’ve failed every time. So tell me—what am I supposed to hit?!”
The examiner leaned back, looked her dead in the eye, and said:
“The brakes, Betty. You’re supposed to hit the brakes.”
Hakwa Nadro
Trusted Member
I finally realized something—
I’ve got everything I wanted as a teenager… just 60 years late.
Think about it:
I don’t go to school.
I don’t go to work.
I get an allowance every month.
I’ve got my own place, my own car, a driver’s license, and no curfew.
Best of all—nobody around me is worried about getting pregnant, and I don’t have acne anymore. Life is sweet!
I even upgraded my car horn. It now sounds like a gunshot. Amazing how fast traffic clears when people think it’s duck-and-cover time.
You know, things really have changed. Back then, girls cooked like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
And don’t ask about the gym. I didn’t make it today… that’s five years in a row. I even renamed the bathroom “the Jim.” Now I proudly tell people: “I go to the Jim every morning.”
Old age, though, really came at a bad time.
When I was a kid, nap time was punishment. Now it feels like a Caribbean vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself? “I’ll remember that, I don’t need to write it down.” Yeah, right.
I don’t call this gray hair either—it’s not gray. These are wisdom highlights. I’m practically a genius.
And listen, if God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a procrastinators’ support group. We haven’t met yet.
And can someone tell me why I have to press one for English—only to get transferred to somebody I can’t understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice!
These days, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for.
I have more friends I should send this message to—but I can’t remember their names.
Now I’m stuck wondering… did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?
I’ve got everything I wanted as a teenager… just 60 years late.
Think about it:
I don’t go to school.
I don’t go to work.
I get an allowance every month.
I’ve got my own place, my own car, a driver’s license, and no curfew.
Best of all—nobody around me is worried about getting pregnant, and I don’t have acne anymore. Life is sweet!
I even upgraded my car horn. It now sounds like a gunshot. Amazing how fast traffic clears when people think it’s duck-and-cover time.
You know, things really have changed. Back then, girls cooked like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
And don’t ask about the gym. I didn’t make it today… that’s five years in a row. I even renamed the bathroom “the Jim.” Now I proudly tell people: “I go to the Jim every morning.”
Old age, though, really came at a bad time.
When I was a kid, nap time was punishment. Now it feels like a Caribbean vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself? “I’ll remember that, I don’t need to write it down.” Yeah, right.
I don’t call this gray hair either—it’s not gray. These are wisdom highlights. I’m practically a genius.
And listen, if God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a procrastinators’ support group. We haven’t met yet.
And can someone tell me why I have to press one for English—only to get transferred to somebody I can’t understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice!
These days, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for.
I have more friends I should send this message to—but I can’t remember their names.
Now I’m stuck wondering… did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?
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